Saturday, January 19, 2013

Popcorn Day

We interrupt your regular scheduled programming to bring you a special announcement. You will be returned to your current show, Six Months Of Unexplained Silence, in just a moment. 

It’s Popcorn Day. 

Yes, the day that started it all. I hope you microwaved a bag and did something strange today in honor of me, this neglected blog, or the Day itself. Or for Martin Luther King, Jr. He also has a day coming up. 

And I remembered it, as opposed to every other year in the history of the world.

I celebrated Popcorn Day by co-leading a middle school sex retreat.  

I also flew my kite on a frozen lake. 

[Yep. That happened.]

I’d also like to interject right now and let you know that I dreamt the other day that I had just arrived in Paris to study art with a bunch of people I didn’t know. On that first day we went on a field trip to an art show that required us all to get naked, lay down on a conveyor belt and be aqua-massaged until the conveyor belt dropped and hurled us into a shallow river of gelatin. As my naked newfound friends and I slowly backstroked through the sticky river, I realized that we probably didn’t need much of an ice breaker now that we’ve all seen one another’s privates covered in jell-o. At the end of the river, we all stood up and were hosed off by gallery staff in hazmat suits. Art. 

Okay, you all. Back to work. Happy Popcorn Day. Here’s to hopefully talking again before the next one.


  1. YES! We did celebrate popcorn day by popping a big bowl of popcorn! But I have to admit I didn't realize it was popcorn day at the time.

    Okay...a few questions. Really? A middle school sex retreat?

    Was this the mid-winter-kite thing-a-ma-jiggie thing that you went to a couple of years ago? Or is this just you flying your kite because you were on a frozen lake?

    Well, that has to rank as one of your strangest dreams. And you've had A LOT of strange dreams!

  2. Ahhh! Missed it!

    But, um, what was that about a middle-school sex retreat? Is that really something you should announce on the internet?

    1. Hi Wynn Anne!

      I work at a church and every year we have an overnight retreat for 8th and 9th graders where we talk about faith and spirituality. It's a fun, safe place for them to ask questions and make decisions about where their boundaries are and stuff like that. I usually just like to call it a Middle School Sex Retreat without explaining it, because I like the weird looks.

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