Saturday, January 19, 2013

Popcorn Day

We interrupt your regular scheduled programming to bring you a special announcement. You will be returned to your current show, Six Months Of Unexplained Silence, in just a moment. 

It’s Popcorn Day. 

Yes, the day that started it all. I hope you microwaved a bag and did something strange today in honor of me, this neglected blog, or the Day itself. Or for Martin Luther King, Jr. He also has a day coming up. 

And I remembered it, as opposed to every other year in the history of the world.

I celebrated Popcorn Day by co-leading a middle school sex retreat.  

I also flew my kite on a frozen lake. 

[Yep. That happened.]

I’d also like to interject right now and let you know that I dreamt the other day that I had just arrived in Paris to study art with a bunch of people I didn’t know. On that first day we went on a field trip to an art show that required us all to get naked, lay down on a conveyor belt and be aqua-massaged until the conveyor belt dropped and hurled us into a shallow river of gelatin. As my naked newfound friends and I slowly backstroked through the sticky river, I realized that we probably didn’t need much of an ice breaker now that we’ve all seen one another’s privates covered in jell-o. At the end of the river, we all stood up and were hosed off by gallery staff in hazmat suits. Art. 

Okay, you all. Back to work. Happy Popcorn Day. Here’s to hopefully talking again before the next one.