Okay, this isn’t fan mail fan mail; it’s just an email from my Mom. But she reads my blog and is one of the four comment-leavers that make me feel like I’m actually doing more than sending my stories into a clouded and scary abyss, so I shall share.
So I got an email from her, because we do that...
“I had a dream last night that made me mad during the dream but when I woke up it was hilarious!”
Can you tell we’re related? A run-on sentence used to show how excited we are to write it? That’s us.
“It was about multi-tasked-one-handed nose blowing.”
She’s referring back to this post, probably one of the most absent-minded ones I’ve ever put on this blog (but nonetheless one of the funniest, I think). A complaint about bananas turning into a rant about the fact the Jane Goodall never has to go to the zoo and, you guessed it, my resentment towards people who blow their nose with one hand. Apparently this inspired her unconscious mind.
“I was at work and stopped to blow my nose. Two-handed, of course. My boss walked by with a disgusted look on her face and told me that I blow my nose very inefficiently! She then proceeded to do whatever it was that she was doing and reached over with a Kleenex one-handed, grabbed my nose, told me to ‘blow’, I continued to work on my computer while blowing. She then looked at me and said ‘SEE!? You should be able to keep working and blow your nose at the same time if you only used one hand!’
Bitch.”
[A few things about this drawing:
1. Since my mom left out what her boss was doing in her dream, I naturally assumed that she was playing badminton.
2. I've found drawing anyone besides myself as a stick figure is really strange. I went through about a million sketches of my mom's head before I found one that didn't completely suck. This one still kind of does, but it's not the worst thing in the world.
3. More offices should probably have badminton. This picture is like a workplace paradise.]
I will give you, Mom, the coveted label of Posts I End With The Word ‘Bitch’ for that one.
That is NOT FAIR that your mom doesn't get to play badminton and has to do all the work!!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE that I have the coveted label of 'posts I end with the word bitch'!
ReplyDeleteAnd I love that I actually get to make an appearance on your blog. (Note to self: I MUST get a new haircut! The drawing of my head isn't that bad, but the HAIR! UGH!)
This post made my day! I needed a smile after working with a crazed woman that thinks she can tell me how to blow my nose!
I agree with Christie! IT'S NOT FAIR!
ReplyDeleteGlad you like it.
ReplyDeleteI'm writing an anonymous letter to your boss as we speak complaining about the lack of racket sports in your workplace.