Not what they seem...

While I was waiting for the WALK sign at an intersection in downtown La Crosse yesterday, a cop car pulled up beside me. As usual, though I knew full well that he was simply parked at the stop light, my heart started beating and I began frantically checking myself and my surroundings to make sure I wasn’t doing anything wrong.  I’ve never gotten into any trouble with the law—save a few speeding tickets—and have no reason to worry, yet I have a great fear whenever a cop car shows up that I am, at that moment, standing in the wrong place at the wrong time, and I’ll get arrested or something.  Is that weird?  Probably.

Upon further inspection, I realized that it was not a cop car at all.  It was like a cop car: lights on top, safety grille in the front, a caged separator between the front and back seats…however, on the side of the car was written, in script, I might add...

Then it dawned on me. This guy is probably a stripper.

It all made sense. The man inside had a very tight uniform on and was very well tanned.

While I was waiting at the crosswalk, I saw a man with a fishing pole walking perpendicular to the stripper and I across the intersection. I watched as Coppy McStripperPants honked his horn to get the attention of the fishing pole man. They waved casually.

 [Which leads me to believe that Frank here isn't actually a fisherman. He's on his way  to work to go let out his line for some middle-aged bride-to-be who's into that kind of stuff.]

I then began to take second glances at everyone I walked past. How many more strippers are around me right now? It’s like they’re an invisible, secret society and only they know who they are. 

So if you’re walking in downtown La Crosse and you see two people wave, high-five, or wink at each other, they’re probably undercover strippers.