Thursday, January 27, 2011

I have this thing...

...And this thing is a profound respect for the scripts of movies and television shows. I like to hear every word. Every word, dammit, because if it’s a good show, it’s because they have really talented writers who write really clever words with hopefully with some subtle hints or jokes that one wouldn’t catch if one wasn’t listening very intently.

Here’s the deal, though. I also have friends who like to say things. And the things they say usually mean something to me so I like to hear them as well.

So let’s say that I’m watching one of my DVDs of Arrested Development, a cancelled show that had some of the cleverest and most subtle writing I’ve ever seen so of course I don’t want to miss any of it, and someone comes up to me to tell me something. They start talking, and I’ll pause it to listen to them. And then this happens…

Friend: So I was…

**I push pause**

Friend: Oh. Sorry. I can go if you want. I didn’t mean to interrupt.

Me: What? No, it’s fine. What’s up?

Friend: Well, I’ll make it fast—

Me: You don’t have to. I paused it.

Friend: O…kay…

And they tell a really quick, abbreviated story, which leaves me feeling like a total douchecopter.   

[It's actually pretty interesting that the way I wrote "click" in this picture kind of looks like "dick", because that's what I end up feeling like.] 

After that happens once, this is what happens from now on…

Friend: So I was…

**I push pause**

Friend: Oh, haha. Brian always has to pause it. Haha.

Me: Well, of course. I want to hear what you say. 

Friend: Awkward! Okay, I’ll make it quick.

Me: No, you don’t have to. I paused it. It’s fine. I don’t see what the problem is…

Friend: O…kay…

And another abbreviated story! What is this!

When did the pause button start meaning, “Ugh you’re wasting my time with your incessant talking and I just want to watch my f***ing show”?

This is a what pause actually means. If you look really close on your pause button you can read this: 

Sometimes you have to be sentimental to stop people from pissing you off.


  1. Thanks, Anonymous! I miss you too! Notice I didn't call you "Anon." How annoying it must be when people do that to you!

  2. I once thought it was unnecessary for you to press pause so much but I've come to love it. We all know I can't multi-task, so it's perfect for me too.

  3. Arrested Development is the best, after Doctor Who.

    Maybe, to avoid making people uncomfortable, you could just rewind the part you missed after they're done talking?

  4. haha also adore this post. so so true, i've definitely had encounters like that before, and then you just FEEL BAD until you can get your friend/roommate/lover/etc. (haha) to understand you LOVE them and WANT them to interrupt you! WELL SAID. :D

  5. p.s. I was also very upset when Arrested Development went off-air. Probs cried a tear or two, because as you said, the writing and humor was excellent.