Okay, so the “Celebrity Names in the Title“ thing didn’t work. I was actually a little surprised. I was even more surprised the Google didn’t blacklist me for keyword spamming. That would have SUCKED.
I mean, why would someone whose entire existence is dedicated to gaining more followers and ultimately reaching Blogvana by receiving Blog of Note or something RISK ALL OF THAT BY SPAMMING HIS TITLE?
I walk a thin line.
(That last sentence is the tough way of saying “I had no idea that blacklisting was even a word until a friend of mine told me about it.”)
I don’t even know what I would do if I was blacklisted. It would probably begin with me updating the Faceplace and the Tweetybox multiple times with panicky messages like,
“DON’T WORRY, MY BLOG STILL EXISTS. YOU JUST CAN’T SEARCH IT RIGHT NOW. FURTHER BULLETINS AS EVENTS WARRANT.”*
Or something like,
“AAAUGHH MY BLOG HAS BEEN BLACKLISTED, BUT I PROMISE I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING BAD. IT WAS A MISTAKE. DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO UNDO SOMETHING LIKE THIS?? YOU CAN STILL VISIT IT AT brian-schroeder.blogspot.com!!”**
And everyone on Facebook would probably read it and say, “He has a blog?”
After much Googling, deliberating, and drinking worrying, I would probably decide that it would be best to fashion a sincere, handwritten letter to the people at Google.
(click to enlargigate.)
Something like that. The good news is, Popcorn Day is in the clear, even though my experiment failed. People must just really like that Scrabble post. Bizarre.
*Wow. That's the second time I've referenced Calvin and Hobbes in my recent posts.
**Yep. I just linked to my own blog within my blog. It has the same infinite effect that looking into two facing mirrors does.
**Yep. I just linked to my own blog within my blog. It has the same infinite effect that looking into two facing mirrors does.
You crack me up! Thanks for the much-needed laugh! Although our lyme-infested dog now thinks I am totally wiggy because I'm now laughing at the computer.....poor thing just can't keep up with the emotions today.
ReplyDelete"I walk a thin line". Tell me...when HAVEN'T you walked a thin line, silly boy? :-)
I am very impressed by the fact that you posted this shortly after I asked if your plan worked. This either means that a) we have the same thoughts, or b) you blog on command, in which case I have lots of questions.
ReplyDelete1. What is the best blizzard at Dairy Queen and why?
2. Are turtles cranky, or maybe just shy?
3. How much would I have to pay you to come up with an[other] original musical and sing it to my family after graduation?
4. If your left arm was going to turn into either a cat or a dog, which would you choose?
5. What is the bestest font?
6. Are English muffins better than English muffin toast?
7. Why is your dog infested with lyme?
8. Do you think being blacklisted would be like a pirate curse, like the black pearl, or the black spot?
Oooh. I want to play too:
ReplyDeleteAnswers:
#1. chocolate covered cherry. Hands down. No contest. No need to answer 'why?'
#2. They're just plain bitchy.
#3. If he does this, can I listen in too?
#4. If the dog would be lyme-infested, then I choose a cat.
#5. Palatino.
#6. I'm a english muffin purist.
#7. Weird. She had the Lyme's vaccine AND she tests positive for Lymes. She's an over-achiever, what can I say.
#8. I don't get the question...
I was sitting at my computer thinking, "I should blog, but I don't know about what," when I saw your comment, which smashed the lightbulb over my head. So (a) and (b) are both true. Though I will not blog for each of these, I will give you my answers.
ReplyDelete1. Cookie Dough, Reeses, and Butterfinger. In that order.
2. Both. They're pissed off, but too timid to talk about it.
3. $1003.95. The extra $3.95 is for the gallon of gas I'll need to buy for, uh, personal purposes.
4. Cats, because their arms are more nimble than dogs'.
5. Anything from the Helvetica family. I've never found anything better.
6. English muffins are more authentic. That's the hipster answer.
7. Because she's stupid and rolls around in piles of deer ticks.
8. Whichever one means death.